We’ve slowly learned to live with it in the skies above our life since the week before Christmas of 2019. It usually lurks in the background but appears right above us about every 3 months, when husband’s next scope appointment arrives.
Once it appears, The Cancer Cloud never evaporates. I can honestly say that after 6 surgeries in 4 years, we have learned to accept it. We truly don’t think about it… until the week of his scopes. I know many can relate. The skies start to get a little gray and it’s harder to focus on the sun. It doesn’t always rain but the possibility is always there.
This past November after 4 years of somewhat clear skies, it rained again. Thankfully it was only light showers this time.
We got the news that another cancerous tumor had begun to grow in his bladder. The day before Thanksgiving it was removed. Unlike the first time, once biopsied it was found to be low grade and he did not have to undergo any further treatment. Hallelujah!
Yesterday when he went in for the first scope since removing the second malignant tumor, we had intentionally made peace with whatever the doctor may say. We were tired of the quarterly roller coaster ride, so we just got off. It was time to accept what is and that this may be a part of our story ongoing.
We relinquished the strong hold of false hope that the skies will be clear forever and radically accepted the reality of what is, with a complete and total release of expectations. The relief of the “what ifs” was refreshing, to say the least.
Fortunately the type of cancer he was diagnosed with has a high survival rate but it is also considered to be one of the most annoying types because of the high rate of reoccurrence.
Yesterday another small spot was found in his bladder, as has been the case many times before. At this point, the spot is still light so he does not have to go in for another exploratory surgery/biopsy for now.
So… we wait and happily bask in the next three months of sunny skies, reminding ourselves of the silver linings when needed. ☀️
